


Off My Chest

by neoqueentitania



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, Pride, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, i tried comedy, idk if it works lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:35:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoqueentitania/pseuds/neoqueentitania
Summary: Kazuto is finally able to get top surgery, and he asks Asuna and his aunt to come with him.
Relationships: Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito/Yuuki Asuna | Asuna
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	Off My Chest

**Author's Note:**

> This is now my longest oneshot, please clap.

“Kazuto, come on, we’ll be late,” Asuna chided, tugging her boyfriend’s arm as she practically dragged him to the car.

“Hey, be careful!” Midori called after them.

Kazuto couldn’t help but let out a nervous laugh as he climbed into the backseat of his aunt’s car. He was glad that both she and Asuna were so supportive, but they’d been slightly over-cautious the past two days. Though, he supposed he couldn’t blame them.

“It’s really happening, huh?” Kazuto smiled as Asuna sat in the seat next to him.

Top surgery. The words floated around his head, almost sounding fake due to the sheer number of times he had repeated them to himself in the weeks leading up to this day. As soon as he’d received a phone call saying the surgery was allowed to go ahead, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it, excitedly screaming to all his friends about it for the past two weeks.

Finally, it was the day before his operation, and Asuna and Midori had agreed to come with him to the hospital. Suguha had promised to visit him after his surgery. He hadn’t expected his family to be so excited for him, but he guessed he couldn’t be surprised, they’d been supportive every step of the way, and this was a huge step he was making.

He looked down at his chest, uncomfortable against his frame. He hadn’t truly understood how uncomfortable they made him until he’d seen himself without them, a binder being his fourteenth birthday present from his aunt. He had worn it for as long as he could that day, then when his aunt reminded him to take it off before he fell asleep, he had laid it on his pillow next to him while he slept. It was like a toddler finding a new stuffed toy to cuddle, it became a sort of security blanket for the short time he wore it before Sword Art Online had started.

When he’d woken up, his binder no longer fit. It brought him to hysterics, sobbing on his bed for hours at the thought of meeting Asuna with a body he didn’t feel comfortable in. Real-life had no coding glitch to allow him to the avatar customisation menu. There was no chest slider in the real world.

Well, there was, of sorts. It just happened to be exorbitantly expensive and required an unfair amount of bed rest afterwards, even for a boy who considered his bed to be his favourite place in the entire world.

“How are you feeling?” Asuna asked tentatively. 

“Nervous, excited. Is it normal to feel like I might cry?”

Asuna held his hand a little tighter - he hadn’t even noticed she’d started holding it.

“You can cry, we don’t judge. Just… Promise they’re happy tears?”

Kazuto nodded, “Of course they’re happy tears, I’ve wanted this since I was-”

“Thirteen and a half,” Midori chimed in, “He was thirteen and a half, and he came home from a walk crying because somebody had called him a girl. So I did my research and got him his first binder.”

“It was a white one,” Kazuto remembered, “I got it for my birthday. I tried to colour it black with a marker. You walked into my room and told me you’d buy me a black one in a few months, remember?”

“Yes, I remember,” Midori sighed, “I did buy you a black one eventually, though. It just took a little longer than we were expecting.”

Kazuto smiled to himself while he remembered getting his second binder. It was bigger to account for his growth, and it was black. He’d been so excited about wearing it that he’d worn it as a shirt on more than one occasion, wearing it with an open flannel or leather jacket over it. It had only occurred to Asuna that it was not a shirt when he had taken her home after a date and excused himself to change.

The three of them chatted excitedly as they drove to the hospital, all talking about Kazuto’s operation. By the end of the car ride, Asuna had promised to cook him dinner every night for the next two weeks and Midori had promised to do his laundry until he was comfortable enough to move around like usual.

“Ah, I didn’t think of that. How am I gonna move properly for a couple of weeks?”

“You won’t,” Asuna told him, “You’ll be getting lots of rest and we’ll all be doting on you. I got permission from my father to let me spend a week with you so I can help out a little, too,”

“Your father let you stay?” Kazuto asked, grinning at the thought of spending more time with her.

“Yes! Your aunt helped a little bit…”

They exchanged a knowing glance through Midori’s rear-view mirror. Kazuto wondered what on earth she could have done to convince Asuna’s strict parents to let their daughter spend so much time with him. Really though, it didn’t matter. He could spend a week straight with the woman he loved, and he was happy.

“Okay, are we all ready to go inside?” Midori asked.

Kazuto was scrambling out of the car before he even replied, dragging his girlfriend and aunt behind him through the hospital doors. He was practically skipping to the front desk to check his name and appointment time.

“Kazuto Kirigaya, I have an appointment for FTM top surgery tomorrow morning!”

The woman behind the desk smiled and told him where to go, informing him a doctor would be in to see him shortly.

“Oh, before you go,” she called quickly after him. He turned, looking at her in confusion.

“Congratulations,” She smiled.

He called out a thank you, then continued to the room he had been given directions to. He nearly got lost, happy tears clouding his vision. Asuna had to hold his arm and direct him where to turn.

When he sat down on a chair in the room, Asuna bent down to give him a kiss on top of the head. He pressed his forehead against hers for a moment, then kissed the top of her nose before she stood up again.

“I’ll see you after I have my tests, okay? You’ll do fine, they’re gonna look after you. I love you,” 

She gave him one final kiss on the cheek before she left the room, almost bumping into a doctor as he entered. He walked to his chair and sat down, giving Kazuto a look of assurance.

“She’s right, we’ll look after you, I promise. We just need to run through a few things with you very quickly this afternoon, then you can leave and come back tomorrow morning at six for your surgery,”

“I have to be awake at six?” Kazuto whined.

Midori laughed and shook her head. At least the nerves weren’t getting to him too much.

The three of them went through more paperwork, checking some details and making sure Kazuto knew what he was getting himself into as if he didn’t spend hours looking into it and fantasising about it for himself.

Before long everything was done and Kazuto was free to go to the hotel by the hospital for the night. They had decided that it was best for him to stay there for a couple of nights since it was closer to the hospital than their house and it would be easier to get to and from. It was also because it was a special occasion and they had agreed it deserved a few days away from home for. Asuna had even offered to cover the cost of the room.

He and Midori made their way to their hotel room, finding Asuna already checked in and laying on the double bed in the middle of the room. There was also a smaller single bed to the right side on the room, a minifridge, a small desk and a door to the small bathroom on the left of the room.

“Hey, how was everything?” Asuna asked as she sat up, yawning.

Kazuto shrugged, “It was okay. Boring. I’m excited about tomorrow though!”

He started grinning again, flopping onto the bed and wrapping Asuna in his arms, the pair of them falling back laughing. His entire chest felt like it was filled with butterflies. He couldn’t wipe the grin off his face, his cheeks hurt but he didn’t care. Everything he’d wanted for so long was real and happening and in front of him. At the same time in a day, he’d have a flat chest. A flat chest that would hurt and itch uncontrollably, but a flat chest.

Without thinking, he moved his hands down to his chest. A large part of his mind could only come up with descriptors like “squishy” or “disgusting” which he laughed at. Six years and he could still only come up with words that sounded like a middle schooler. At least that didn’t change.

“Do you kids want some dinner? We should probably go to bed early tonight since we have to be up so early tomorrow,” Midori came over to where they were with a room service menu for the three of them to look through. 

“Couldn’t it have been in the afternoon? Please?” Kazuto whined. 

He quickly stopped complaining when he was hit with another wave of realisation that it was real, that he was actually having it done. The excitement settled into his mind as he ordered his food and stayed there well after they’d all finished eating.

He was the last one to shower, Midori and Asuna taking their showers first and settling into bed - Midori took the single bed, Kirito and Asuna would share the double. He stepped into the shower, the hot water instantly hitting his back. He felt every tense muscle in his body instantly relax as he stood under the water. He turned around, letting the water hit his chest. He winced slightly at the sudden heat, then quickly got used to it.

“Thanks for sticking around so long, you two, but it’s time for you to go. I’d say it’s been fun but it really hasn’t,” he mumbled as he washed.

He eventually got out of the shower, mourning the loss of heat, then wrapped a towel around himself and pulled on some loose pyjamas - a baggy t-shirt and some fluffy pyjama pants. They were warm and comfortable, but most importantly they were loose. 

He walked back out to their main room, saying goodnight to his aunt before he snuggled in bed next to his girlfriend. Asuna gave him a certain look, like she was trying to find word to say something but couldn’t, as if they caught on the tip of her tongue before she could figure out a way to properly word them.

Kazuto sighed, “Okay, since it’s the last time you can,”

Asuna smiled and laid her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around his middle and adjusting her head so she was comfortable. Kazuto shifted on his back. He was absolutely going to enjoy this more once there was less between Asuna and his heartbeat.

“Goodnight,” she murmured sleepily. Kazuto was already asleep.

He woke up early the next morning - even earlier than Asuna, for once - with a twinkle in his eye. At some point during the night, Asuna had gone from sleeping with her head on his chest to sleeping next to him on the pillow with her hand cupping his boob. He was unsure if it was intentional.

He gently moved her, trying to be careful to not wake her up. She looked so peaceful when she was sleeping, he didn’t want to disturb her. When he was out of bed and confident she was still asleep, he crept to the bathroom. 

By the time he got back, she was awake, straightening out the bedsheets and waking Midori so they could all get dressed. Kazuto was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement, unable to even stand still as he hopped from foot to foot.

“Calm down, you’re making my knees ache just looking at you,” Midori chided lightly as they began to eat their breakfasts. Kazuto had to take several sips of water to stop himself from choking because he was bouncing on the bed while he ate. The third time it happened, Asuna rubbed his back sympathetically while he coughed. She swore it could be like looking after a toddler sometimes.

“Thank you,” he said sheepishly as he took another drink of water, choking one last time before deciding that he was done with his meal.

“Okay, let’s go before he actually dies,” Asuna groaned.

The three of them got to the car and Kazuto practically tore the handle from the door as he tried to open it. Asuna gently pulled his hand back so Midori could unlock the car for him. He climbed into his seat and started bouncing once more. It was adorable how excited it was, Midori just wished he was excited more quietly as he started loudly rambling about the clothes he was going to wear once he had a flat chest, his words coming out so quickly that they jumbled together.

“I can go to the beach shirtless and I can sleep shirtless and I can go to the gym shirtless and I can take Asuna out to dinner shirtless-”

“You really can’t,”

“We’re here!” Kazuto ignored his girlfriend’s inevitable lecture. He ran from the car to the doors, nearly slamming his face into the glass doors. He had never been more excited about anything in his life. Even meeting Asuna in the real world for the first time had been tinged with melancholy thoughts and worry. But this was something he had wanted for so long, it was finally real and he intended to enjoy every second of the process, even the pain that would come after it.

He went through the process of checking-in with half-awake staff members who led him to the room he’d be staying in. He changed into the hospital gown he was given, taking one final look at his chest before he stared up at the ceiling, his entire body buzzing with excitement. 

Asuna and Midori joined him soon after, offering reassurance and sharing his excitement.

“Is it gonna look good?” He asked.

“I’m sure it’s going to look perfect,” Asuna assured him.

There was silence, then Kazuto started laughing, bringing his hands over his face. He was crying, but he didn’t want anyone to see that. That part he could keep to himself.

“I’m so happy, it’s finally happening,” 

Midori ruffled his hair affectionately, “Yeah, it’s finally happening,”

A small team of doctors entered the room and began preparing Kazuto to be taken to the operating room. They were running through the procedure, but Kazuto could barely hear what they were saying, too high on excitement and adrenaline to fully process the words they were saying.

“So, we’re going to give you the anaesthetic now, and you’re going to go to sleep. Are you ready?”

“Wait, first,” Kazuto looked over to where Asuna and Midori were standing, “I hate my boobs, they’re too big, the hurt, they make my back hurt, I could never lay comfortably on my side because they felt weird and bras are stupid and expensive. Okay, I’m ready now,”

Everyone gave him a confused look, but proceeded nonetheless, putting him under anaesthetic and wheeling him to the operating room.

Asuna and Midori left to go back to the hotel room, both nervous. They knew he was in good hands, but Asuna kept checking her phone every few minutes to make sure nothing had gone wrong. Suguha messaged at least fifty times in the first hour, Midori calling her to assure her that if something went awry she would be the first person they’d call.

Of course, nothing went wrong, and they got a call telling them he was out of surgery and they were able to visit him a few hours later. He was still waking up when they entered his hospital room, but he smiled when he saw them. 

“How are you feeling?” Asuna asked, and Kazuto gave her a thumbs-up in return.

His chest was covered in bandages, but it was now noticeably flat. Kazuto kept looking down at it and smiling in disbelief, he’d never expected the day to finally arrive when he could look down at his chest and be happy with what he saw.

The bandages were a bit of a pain, though.

“I’m tired,” he mumbled. 

“You just slept for hours and you’re tired again?” Midori laughed. Kazuto nodded his head.

“I’m a growing boy, I need rest.” 

“Well, you’ll be getting lots of that,” A nurse said as he entered the room, “At least a week, but two weeks of you can manage. Don’t move around too much, get a lot of bed rest,”

Kazuto weakly pumped a fist in the air, then dropped it to his side again. “I’m good at sleeping, I like this plan,”

Everyone laughed, Asuna reaching out to hold Kazuto’s hand, tracing circles over the back of his hand with her thumb. He hummed in contentment, then cringed.

“Throat hurts,” he noted.

“That’s normal, it should stop over the next two days,” the doctor told him. Kazuto nodded his head in acknowledgment, then looked back down at his chest, a grin breaking out across his face.

It was flat. There was nothing in the way anymore. Asuna would be able to lay her head on his chest and clearly hear his heartbeat. He’d be able to shower without being nauseated by the sight of himself. He could go swimming without shirts. He could sleep without shirts. Hell, he could walk around his house without shirts, nobody could stop him.

Except for maybe an embarrassed younger sibling, but he didn’t care about that too much.

The butterflies in his chest that had appeared the night before were now swirling all around his ribcage as if they might break free at any moment. He felt euphoria coursing through his veins. Finally, after so many years of disgust with his body, he had something tangible that he could feel and look at whenever he needed to that reminded him that he was making so much progress. Nothing could stop him anymore.

He started crying, and Asuna wiped away his tears with her finger. He squeezed her hand.

“Happy?” she asked.

“So happy,” 

“Well you certainly seem happier than you did ranting about boobs before you went under,” Midori chuckled.

Asuna nodded her head, “Yeah, what was all that about?”

Kazuto shrugged, “I dunno,” he looked up at them, smirking, “But man, I sure am glad I got all of that off my chest.”

**Author's Note:**

> ...I wrote all of this to make that pun.


End file.
